Charlie Brown's famous quote is rarely taken at face value.
Who thinks that there is anything "good" about "grief"?
Sadness is an emotion. Grieving is an active participation in a specific kind of sadness.
Sadness has been defined as the state of being "unhappy". It is often associated with a loss of some kind. It may be empathy for the loss of misfortune of someone else. It may be prompted by one's own loss: loss of something that one had, but no longer possesses, or loss of an identity and belonging, or loss of a relationship, or the loss of an opportunity or hope that one had for a potential future. It is this sadness prompted by loss that evokes grief.
Some ways that we experience grieving:
Charlie Brown also said "I have a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time." The first part of his new philosophy is very healthy. Take this one day at a time, maybe even one hour at a time, or one moment at a time, or one breath at a time.
Acceptance is a valuable key that unlocks many doors. Much better than Dread.
Acceptance that things are not permanent.
Acceptance that we do not know for sure what is going to happen and when.
Acceptance that we do not even know everything relevant about what has already happened.
Acceptance that there may not be anything in particular that you can do in this moment, to make things any different, in this moment.
Acceptance that as things go, other things come. There will be change, and that is one constant.
Acceptance of the uncomfortable and even painful feeling of loss.
Acceptance that loss cannot rob us of joy. Only obsession with loss can do that.
Acceptance that grieving takes time, sometimes a little, and other times, a lot.
With this approach to grief, your grief can actually be "Good Grief", even as it is unpleasant. Come Join us and explore Your Wondrous Mind as you learn to meditate and grow in your capacity for Acceptance.
Who thinks that there is anything "good" about "grief"?
Sadness is an emotion. Grieving is an active participation in a specific kind of sadness.
Sadness has been defined as the state of being "unhappy". It is often associated with a loss of some kind. It may be empathy for the loss of misfortune of someone else. It may be prompted by one's own loss: loss of something that one had, but no longer possesses, or loss of an identity and belonging, or loss of a relationship, or the loss of an opportunity or hope that one had for a potential future. It is this sadness prompted by loss that evokes grief.
Some ways that we experience grieving:
- Pain We usually experience emotional pain, which often shows up additionally as physical pain. This pain is in relationship to the importance to us of what has been lost. The pain is an acknowledgment of the value of what we have lost.
- Lethargy We can experience a loss of energy. We slow down the pace, partly due to the pain mentioned above, partly in response to the hopelessness that may show up as described below. We need some time to rest, and to heal. We need some space to just "be".
- Hopelessness We can experience loss of direction and loss of motivation with a resulting loss of hope. This hopelessness shows up in relationship to the degree to which we had been depending on what was lost to give us direction, meaning and hope.
- Busyness In contrast to the above mentioned lethargy and hopelessness, we can sometimes be taken up in a whirlwind of activity, in attempt to cover over the loss, the pain, the lack of energy, the hopelessness. We attempt to fill in the hole with something else. Sometimes valuable things are accomplished in the rush of busyness. Sometimes the busyness gets in the way of healing, but sometimes, it gives us the space to heal some, before the challenging work of acceptance and adjustment.
- Blame In our pain, we can often perceive injustice and unfairness keenly. Though we sometimes see injustice where there was none. We are looking for answers that make sense. We can become angry and begin working toward justice. But there is a risk of the anger creating more injustice. In our pain and anger we can jump to conclusions and land on the wrong ones. It is so important to be determined to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Anger can be an extremely valuable emotion when it motivates us to right a wrong, but anger makes it very hard to see clearly what is right and what is wrong and how to work toward justice. Be quick to listen and slow to anger, and slow to act in anger. Question and doubt your anger.
- Guilt A specific narrow part of "Blame" is guilt: blaming our selves. It may very well be that we have done things that led to the loss. It is wise to evaluate our own actions and the consequences. It is very easy, as in the broader arena of Blame, to jump to conclusions and take on blame that does not lie with us. It is important to be slow to anger toward self, just as it is important to be slow to anger toward others. Be quick to listen. Take time to be still, and listen.
Charlie Brown also said "I have a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time." The first part of his new philosophy is very healthy. Take this one day at a time, maybe even one hour at a time, or one moment at a time, or one breath at a time.
Acceptance is a valuable key that unlocks many doors. Much better than Dread.
Acceptance that things are not permanent.
Acceptance that we do not know for sure what is going to happen and when.
Acceptance that we do not even know everything relevant about what has already happened.
Acceptance that there may not be anything in particular that you can do in this moment, to make things any different, in this moment.
Acceptance that as things go, other things come. There will be change, and that is one constant.
Acceptance of the uncomfortable and even painful feeling of loss.
Acceptance that loss cannot rob us of joy. Only obsession with loss can do that.
Acceptance that grieving takes time, sometimes a little, and other times, a lot.
With this approach to grief, your grief can actually be "Good Grief", even as it is unpleasant. Come Join us and explore Your Wondrous Mind as you learn to meditate and grow in your capacity for Acceptance.