February theme: Love
Approach February with Generosity
"Love" is a popular word this time of year, with Valentine's Day celebrated the middle of this month. We have associated Valentines Day with a romantic type of love, a strong feeling of attraction. This form of love brings with it strong positive feelings: excitement, desire, dedication, fulfilment, acceptance, belonging, commitment, joy, satisfaction.
But it can also spawn profound pain when the affection is not reciprocated, or when we discover that our infatuation misled us into imagining a perfect person, or when we recognize that we are growing in different directions and drifting apart, or when we see others around us in love and feel alone and maybe even feel unlovable.
So what do you do with an emotion that can lift you up so high, and also slam you back down just as easily?
One principle to follow is applicable to so many other human experiences: Equanimity - Not becoming dependent upon pleasing experiences and not being disrupted by unpleasant. Learning to pay attention to, face to face, all kinds of experiences and recognize that they are all part of our human life. Being able to accept and to let go of both the pleasant and the unpleasant.
Generosity is an important component of all kinds of love, whether romantic, familial, fraternal, neighborly, friendship. And it is an important tool to grow and nurture your equanimity. A generous heart can help to increase and deepen the pleasing affects of all kinds of loving relationships, as well as dampen and even protect somewhat against some of the unpleasant affects of loving someone.
In loving relationships (which ideally includes all your relationships)
But it can also spawn profound pain when the affection is not reciprocated, or when we discover that our infatuation misled us into imagining a perfect person, or when we recognize that we are growing in different directions and drifting apart, or when we see others around us in love and feel alone and maybe even feel unlovable.
So what do you do with an emotion that can lift you up so high, and also slam you back down just as easily?
One principle to follow is applicable to so many other human experiences: Equanimity - Not becoming dependent upon pleasing experiences and not being disrupted by unpleasant. Learning to pay attention to, face to face, all kinds of experiences and recognize that they are all part of our human life. Being able to accept and to let go of both the pleasant and the unpleasant.
Generosity is an important component of all kinds of love, whether romantic, familial, fraternal, neighborly, friendship. And it is an important tool to grow and nurture your equanimity. A generous heart can help to increase and deepen the pleasing affects of all kinds of loving relationships, as well as dampen and even protect somewhat against some of the unpleasant affects of loving someone.
In loving relationships (which ideally includes all your relationships)
- Be generous with your time - Nurturing relationship simply takes time.
- Be generous with your possessions - Any individual is more valuable than any possession.
- Be generous with your assumptions - When you have to make an assumption, assume the best.
- Be generous with your forgiveness - Release stubborn pride and resentment that rob you of your own peace.
- Be generous with your listening - Be quick to listen, and slow to speak. Be willing to develop an interest in what is important to your loved ones.